damn,so many things is going through my mind,was i being unfair to her? am i just selfish? just because i dont want to lose her,i force her to be with me.i never even felt this bad before in the past,this wound is so deep! ;(
Now,i am still with her,but things change alot,she no longer have much feelings about me,i no longer know what i want,will her feelings come back to her? :( i remember in the past,no matter how badly she actually hurts me,i still forgive her,yes..my feelings for her then will fade alittle,but at the end of the day,i still love her alot,but this time round,it is so different,for the first time,she dont even know if she love me,care about me,or even want to be with me anymore :(
i am seriously wondering now,is our time about to stop already? will things change to the better? i want otp with her now also hard,should not even ask her if i can pei her collect things just now right,haha so silly of me only,i am just optimistic..
DO YOU KNOW I WAS VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU SMOKE?! REMEMBER WHAT YOU PROMISED ME?! :(
haiz,i am so confused right now,i really love you alot,but do you actually still love me or not? i really hope the things you told me was just a moment of anger,but i know..i must accept the fact already,maybe you really dont have much feelings for me anymore ;(
do you know how hurt i am? ;( i give in so much,so that i can try to make you as happy as possible,i close one eye to most things now,will you two time me? or play my feelings?yes..trust may be a bit of an issue now,but i am trying so hard to remain positive that you still will continue to be tiongxim to me like before...i no longer feel very secure uh.I AM TRYING SO HARD RIGHT NOW! i wish that you could be there for me,there is so many things that i wish to say,but for now..i think is better if i dont say..i just want to find back the wendy who used to love me alot in the past! :(<3 i dont want your feelings to continue fading,i know you almost no feeling for me anymore uh ;( you said you will stay by my side through thick and thin,will you still do? :(
i hope you can tell how much effort i am putting in right now,i never once expect you to want to leave me that badly until that day,in the past,no matter how badly you hurt me,i still forgive you and continue loving you,cause i know all relationships are not perfect,fights,cold wars are meant to happened,but i never realise this time,you want to give up on me so badly! :(
my heart really aching so badly right now,how much more of this can i still take? will i suddenly give up halfway? ;( there are still so many things i want to do with you,go out with you,get closer to you,kiss you on the cheeks..all these...you used to want it as well..but now,i wonder if you are still actually even interested in texting me? :( your replies are so cold after the incident ;(
haiz,if i was the one doing it to you,i wonder how will you feel? cause it seriously sucks! ;( i dunno what to do,how come feelings fade so badly in a matter of a few days,i want to hold on to this relationship uh,do you? :(
they say,once trust is lost in a relationship,it is very hard to gain back,but am i being too stubborn?cause i choose to persevere,hoping you will love me the way you used to :(
maybe,i should consider your happiness,perhaps...i am really just a useless boyfriend or maybe,i am just now cut out to be in a relationship bah? :(
hmmm after every rain,there will be a rainbow,you told me that,do you believe in it? :( can this rain stop pouring down on me? and let me see the rainbow again?! ;( cause i really missed the babee i used to know! you like no longer care or love me anymore le! ;(
alright,i really hope my relationship will be back to the way it should be,start loving and less quarrels,i want my first year with you dearest! do you? :( i am really hoping you wont give up on me! ;( cause i never once did..
i really truly love you ALOT BABEE! i hope you still do as well :(<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 *260411*MUACKS! :(
hmmm ok,after typing it out,i think i am feeling better :) kbye~